GAY global news

Will changing my label change the way people see me?

Written by gaytourism

I thought myself to be a straight woman for a majority of my young life.

It had never occurred to me in the slightest that I may have actually been anything other than heterosexual, despite moments of curiosity and what I now know to be attraction to females.

I began to take my curiosity much more seriously when I reached the age of around 18 years old.

I realized I had been ignoring a genuine part of myself the entire time.

Since that moment, I have thought of myself as a bisexual woman – a proud one too. I’ve worn bi pride badges around my university halls, hung pride flags in my bedroom and been open about my sexuality to most of whom I meet.

However, I find myself now at perhaps another moment of realization in my life.

I think I might be gay.

As much as I use gay as an umbrella term in my everyday life, this time I mean that I suspect myself to be a lesbian.

My beautiful girlfriend is gay. We’ve always had this almost Rose-and-Rosie-like dynamic of a gay and a bisexual in a relationship.

Doubts have grown in my mind of how deep my attraction to the male population has ever truly been lately though.

I’ve had dalliances with boys in the past. I grew up literally believing myself to be a straight woman.

But I was never happy during this time. I never had a single pleasurable sexual encounter. I hadn’t had a relationship which wasn’t awful, and I never felt genuinely in love with anyone.

Thinking over my timeline now, I can see that any true sort of joy or attraction came when I begun thinking of women as viable option for myself.

Spencer (L) and Joanna (R) | Photo: Supplied

‘My sexuality is mine’

My label of bisexuality has made me feel part of the LGBTQ+ community for a long time now.

Part of me feels scared that changing my label or my identity will affect how people see me. To my straight friends, my ‘attraction to boys’ kept me somewhat connected to them still.

If I am to take away that side of who I am, will it change the way people see me? It feels as if I’m coming out to people all over again, which strikes me as a more than scary thought.

To me, sexuality feels a difficult thing to place a label on. I wish sometimes there were a simple test I could take to give me a categorical result.

However sadly, these things are for our own minds and bodies to figure out.

My point is, that my sexuality is mine. I will continue to discover more about myself and who I am every day of my life.

The important thing is that I am true to myself and that I am happy.

My label can change a thousand times. But as long as it is the label I feel is right for me in that moment, it is the label I deserve to wear proudly.

Follow Joanna on Twitter and find her on YouTube.

Read more

Feel the love and read 6 cute stories about how girlfriends met

Prepare for International Non-binary Day by learning how to be a better ally

Got a news tip? Want to share your story? Email us .