Raff and Micaela on their wedding day (Photo: Raffinee | Instagram)
A US woman’s adorable ‘30 days of gay’ postings on Instagram are winning praise and helping raise LGBTI visibility.
Raff (@raffinee) is a Pediatric nurse based in California. She is married to Micaela and the couple have three children: Mateo and twins Luca and Lola. The women first met whilst attending the same college.
To tie in with Pride Month in the US, she is just over midway through her #30DaysOfGay postings. The photos shine a light on different chapters of her life.
The happy family in San Francisco, California (Photo: @Raffinee | Instagram)
‘I had seen a few bloggers do “pride month” posts and “30 days of pride” but I wanted to do my own twist on it,’ she tells Gay Star News.
‘I called it “30 days of gay” and decided to share personal stories, highlight issues within the LGBTQ+ community, and celebrate the successes. It’s been a really fun project!’
Raff has used postings to talk about falling in love, getting married, and the importance of her family and Pride.
A weekend posting detailing her coming out to her family has proved particularly popular. You can read it below.
Raff on coming out… and a missing cat
Photo: Raffinee | Instagram
‘I came out to my family on Christmas Eve. My mom had suspected something was up for months, and despite asking me multiple times if I was gay, I denied it.
‘I wasn’t ready to speak my truth. That is until Christmas Eve.
‘Moments before the family was about to sit down for dinner, I spilled the beans and proclaimed my sexual identity. I don’t even remember what my mom had asked me, but my answer was: “It’s because I’m a lesbian!”
‘I’m not sure why THEN, or in THAT way, I just remember being so tired of hiding it for so long that I think it just erupted out. No one really said much over the first few bites of dinner. There was awkward silence and silverware clanging on plates.
‘Then my little sister realized her beloved cat was missing. BLESS HER. The focus quickly shifted from the newly lesbian daughter to the missing cat and we all abandoned our Christmas ham in search of my feline martyr.
‘The cat hunt gave us all time to digest what had just happened and although I was afraid of what my parents were going to say when they finally processed everything, I remember feeling like this IMMEDIATE weight had lifted off my shoulders. I DID IT.
‘I did what I never thought I would EVER have the courage to do. I came out to my family and I.FELT.GREAT! To be continued… And for those of you wondering, we did find the cat. Ironically enough, the cat was found IN the closet. You can’t make this shit up.’
Raff and Micaela (Photo: @Raffinee | Instagram)
Labels
In another post, she talks about her initial struggles to embrace the label ‘lesbian.’
‘Although I found myself attracted to women as I got older, I really struggled accepting the label of a lesbian. It felt so intimidating having that label slapped on, when I was still discovering myself and I didn’t feel it encompassed all that I was.
‘I initially didn’t like the assumptions and stereotypes that came with my new label. My sexuality was just a piece of me, so why did it have to define me? I’ve now realized it doesn’t define me, and it was with this label that brought me into an incredible community of support.
‘I’ve realized that the LGBTQ community is one of inclusion, and it has supported me through all aspects of my journey. No matter what your label, no matter whether you accept it or not, we define OURSELVES – and I continue to try to define myself by love.’
Uplifting postings
Although the postings have received the occasional homophobic comment, the vast majority have been appreciate and supportive.
Photo: @Raffinee | Instagram
‘I find labels a tricky thing too!’ says @kaitlinchapple. ‘I identify as a lesbian but because I’m so feminine, I’ve never felt fully welcomed or embraced by the LGBTQ community. Seeing other feminine women like you who are out is such a nice thing to see. It makes me feel like there is a place for me.’
Others have posted from further afield.
‘Your 30 Days of Gay posts are really lifting me up,’ says @codenamerusski. ‘I’m currently on a research trip in Moscow and have been befriended by local queers. It’s been amazing to get to know them and become their friend, but it makes me sad. I missed Pride in my town and Russia is not gay-friendly. Thanks for posting!’
Follow Raff on Instagram at @Raffinee.
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