My mom passed away peacefully last month. She was 90 years young. As the matriarch and magnet of our large Irish American and French Canadian family, “Mimi” was the center of all family information, celebrations, and milestones. She kept in close contact with her large and extended family, including seven children, spouses, 22 grand and great-grandchildren, an endless supply of nieces and nephews, and a gaggle of friends, and loved them all in her special way.
My mom was proper, very old school, but never stuck up. She was the first person from the LeBlanc family (first of Comeauville, Nova Scotia, then Arlington, Mass.) to graduate high school and college. I never heard her swear in my entire life. If she was upset, she would say “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” and then list the names of all her children, until she landed on one that was in trouble.
While I only came out to my mom as a transgender woman about fifteen years ago, she knew for much of my life I was different. I always felt like she was looking out for me. And while I ruined a few pairs of her stylish heels as a teen, and borrowed her makeup and jewelry, she never once embarrassed me about it. So when I did come out to her and told her I had started transitioning, at first she looked sad, or perhaps scared, but then a light went on, and I saw her smile. “You know, I just saw an Oprah episode the other day, and there was this beautiful transgender Brazilian model on the show, so I think I know what you’re talking about.”
That was such a relief. I replied to Mom, “I don’t think I’ll ever be a model, and there’s no chance I’m going to be Brazilian, but I do hope to be beautiful.”
“I love you,” she replied.
“I love you too, Mom. But, how are we going to tell Dad?”
In time, we figured it out. In fact, when my parents went to seek counsel from the pastor at Our Lady’s Church, he said something like this: “While the church doesn’t condone LGBTQ behavior, my question to you is, do you love your child?”
I was struck when I first heard this exchange transpired, as my very conservative Catholic parents, who watched Fox News religiously and were both lifelong Republicans, found space in their heart to accept their transgender daughter. And in time, they were open to welcoming several LGBTQ+ grandchildren into their family without a fuss, and the love and bond across generations grew stronger.
Last month I was watching the World Series, something I had done for so many years with my parents, especially when the Sox were doing well. So, I was blown away when a political ad came on, attacking transgender people, including youth, their parents, and schools for supporting the children in their lives — young people who deserve the time and space to be themselves and explore their identities.
Transgender and queer youth want to be treated with dignity and respect, just like anyone else. But today, certain politicians are pushing for laws and policies that are dangerous and harmful to LGBTQ+ youth. Here in Maine, 25% of teens identify as LGBTQ+. Sadly, LGBTQ+ students face many challenges and have fewer supports. Their mental health outcomes are significantly worse. LGBTQ+ students are more than twice as likely to feel sad or hopeless for two or more weeks in the past year. And most alarming, LGBTQ+ students are more than three times as likely to have seriously considered suicide in the past year (38% LGBTQ+ vs. 12% non-LGBTQ+). To better understand what that looks like, 2,600 LGBTQ+ high school students in Maine seriously considered suicide in the past year. That’s enough to fill 54 school buses. After the election, calls to LGBTQ+ suicide hotlines went up 700% nationwide in less than a week. As adults, we can — and must — do better. Trans youth and trans adults need support now more than ever.
There are politicians and powerful people who are trying very hard to exploit divisions and fears among us so they can get and hold onto power, denying basic human rights, resources, and the respect all people deserve. By rejecting their disinformation and this division, we can ensure each one of us, including LGBTQ+ people young and old, has the freedom to be ourselves, pursue our dreams, and have a good life — no exceptions.
As Trans Awareness Month comes to a close, I am asking you to hold these truths in mind: trans people are people. We are your coworkers and neighbors. Trans children are children. They are members of families and a variety of communities. Children deserve love and trust. Every single child. Every person deserves access to life-saving health care. This includes you, me, and people who are incarcerated.
People are not issues; children are not weapons; health care, safety and support are for everyone. Everyone includes transgender people and trans children. Everyone includes you, and everyone includes all of us in Maine.
YOU MAKE OUR WORK POSSIBLE.
