The idiot patriarch of a right-wing Canadian family of eight had just about enough of the gay people existing in his country. “We didn’t feel safe for our children there in the future anymore. There’s a lot of left-wing ideology, LGBTQ, trans, just a lot of things that we don’t agree with that they teach there now, and we wanted to get away from that for our children.”
Yeah, if there’s one place that’s just not safe for kids, it’s Canada. Russia would be sooo much safer.
So mom and dad sold everything they had to move to sunny Russia to raise their kids in “orthodox” values. They also gladly took donations on their social media platform from fellow right-wingers so they could live in Putin’s wonderland. They did all of this just three weeks ago, and Russian officials assured them that they would work with them to get them established, and even get them a farm. Long story short, they lived happily ever after.
Putin with another useful idiot
Except they didn’t.
First off, the Russian bank where they moved their funds immediately froze their assets. The amount of money seemed suspicious, as I guess it would since most Russians outside of Putin’s circle are dirt poor. The family literally has no money to live on, and those nice Russian officials disappeared.
Since no one in the family speaks Russian they’ve had a bear of a time trying to argue for their money since Russia doesn’t require any bank, or any business, to hire English translators. In the meantime, they discovered that Russia is a pretty damn miserable place to be right now.
A Russian reporter interviewed the mom—likely for a story on how the corrupt, liberal West was forcing Christians to flee to Mother Russia to the warm embrace of Vladimir Putin. But the idiot mom forgot where she was and instead spoke her mind:
“I’m very disappointed in this country at this point. I’m ready to jump on a plane and get out of here. We’ve hit the first snag where you have to engage logic in this country and it’s very, very frustrating.”
Hoooo boy.
They just arrived and already she’s insulted Russia. Now, I’m not saying Russia doesn’t have freedom of the press, but it’s just the freedom to praise Putin and his country. Anything that resembles criticism in Russia is NOT taken as kindly as it is in our Western godless dystopias. I’m also not suggesting that Russian officials paid Mr. and Mrs. Dumbass a visit to remind them of where they are, but I will point out the dad immediately posted a video saying that Mrs. Dumbass misspoke.
In that video, he reiterated that no, Russia is really, really great (please don’t push me out of a window) and he spoke about hoping to resolve the issue with the bank. The commenters weren’t so sure, or kind. They pointed out that the bank will likely never release their funds and it is more likely that he will be recognized as a foreign agent.
At this point, I’m not sure his farming gig is going to work out. He should have went the Tara Reade route and agree to be used as a tool for Russian state media. I mean, if you are going to go traitor, go all in.
I’m willing to bet that living in a country that tolerates gay people might not be looking so bad now. I’m sure the family is desperately trying to split, and I looked up how difficult it is to leave Russia. According to the BBC, it’s the same as for other Russians—you can leave “as long as you have money and have not been called up to the army.” For his sake, let’s hope he just lost his money.
Welcome to Moscow! At least the song is catchy.
Comment Award goes to Laughing Gravy: “I’ll bet back home they used to whine about immigrants who don’t know the language, who have no money, who expect the government to hand them a house and a job, and who complain when they don’t get everything they want.”
