Things got hotter than usual at XLSIOR Festival | Photo: XLSIOR Mykonos, Facebook
Fights are rubbish and people are rubbish at fighting. After a few vodka and cokes everyone thinks they can swing punches like an anime character believing in the power of friendship but in reality, it devolves into a few pushes, calling the person the c-word, and then some light crying as you walk away.
(I mean, presumably. I don’t get into fights, because I’m not a teenage boy)
But on the gay Greek paradise of Mykonos, a fight broke out that is so embarrassing that every time it flashes on my laptop screen I have to slowly slam the lid onto my head. It occurred during XLSIOR Festival, a week-long event filled with DJs, beach parties, sun, and endless streams of identical shirtless men.
However, the mixture of booze, sun, and muscles so big it makes Love Island look like the land of inarticulate stick insects got the better of these lads.
Posted by Ryan Work on Monday, August 27, 2018
But this already sad, sad fight is made so much worse, as they brawl to a remix of The Greatest Showman’s Never Enough.
Break it down now
Shirtless Man A, wearing the longest of the black shorts, throws the first punch caught on camera. We don’t know what started the fight, but still, it looks like he’s only heard of punching from a badly translated school book on bullying.
Shirtless Man B falls to the floor as A keeps attacking him. The crowd then intervenes to hold the fighting men at back. A swarm of identical men, like an outtake from a gay porn parody of World War Z.
Then, as the crowd separates, a single man appears. His skin is as red as his shorts. He charges forward, attacking A as he flees into the crowd. While he throws his slaps with the bluster on his face normally reserved for Dads who see someone else’s Argos number get called before them, the song continues.
It’ll never be enough, never be enough.
Bad punches. Shoves. Inexplicably angry faces. Friends probably telling him the other guy’s not worth it. All while a musical love song plays in the background. Now that’s art.
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