As we’ve approached the end of our time in DC and our congressional offices, my fellow VCIs and I have been reflecting on both our biggest accomplishments and our proudest moments from this experience. As I’ve personally reflected on my own time in DC, I can’t help but rejoice in the growth I’ve experienced and all I’ve accomplished.
There are my work-related accomplishments: the Representative cosponsoring the first bill I wrote a memo on, getting two form letter responses approved, managing to figure out my way through the tunnels, overcoming my anxiety related to answering constituent calls, and learning how to manage and prioritize competing tasks.
Then there’s my Victory program-related accomplishments: learning more about LGBTQ history, further engaging with the intersection of my queer and Arab identities, serving the DC community through volunteering at the Habitat ReStore, and increasing my comfortability with networking – something I was very uncomfortable with before starting here.
And I can’t forget the amazing friendships I have made. The VCI cohort has truly been one of the most accepting, fulfilling, extraordinary communities I have ever been a part of. Many of us (me included) have large queer communities back at home, while others don’t. However, regardless of which group we fell into, having a community of like-minded, queer individuals from all around the country, from different racial and ethnic backgrounds, from different socioeconomic backgrounds, was an experience unlike any other I’ve had. I have learned so much from each and every member of my cohort and they all inspire me every single day. I cannot wait to see all the incredible ways in which this group of 16 changes the world, and I know that we will all find each other again in the future (at least at the International LGBTQ Leaders Conference in December!).
All of these achievements are amazing and I am so proud of all of them. However, I want to focus on my personal growth in my time here.
Admittedly, this past year at school for me was fairly difficult. I remain proud of my academic achievements, my extracurricular involvements, and I value all my friendships at school so much. However, due to a variety of circumstances, this past year I found myself questioning myself, struggling to maintain confidence, and feeling quite lost and alone at many points. If I’m being fully honest, it was a low point for me in terms of my sense of self.
Before I came to DC, I was hopeful that things were looking up and that I would be able to build my confidence, but I was also scared – being in a new place with unknown people and a challenging internship.
I am so proud and happy to say that my time in this city and as an intern on the Hill has allowed me to rediscover myself.
Instantly when I arrived, I began to feel things shifting for me. I almost instantly clicked with those in my cohort. I’ll never forget when Annie, a true friend I made on this program, and I locked eyes during our first day of orientation, immediately knowing what the other was thinking. To be instantly accepted and feel at home with a group of 15 random people from all different schools, states, and backgrounds was instantly reassuring for me. I remember a night out in which I was walking with Annie and Larissa, another of my close friends, and I was explaining that I don’t think people would typically describe me as a “nice” person. They both responded in utter shock and told me that, yes, they do think I’m a nice person. My entire false perception of myself truly shattered right before my eyes at that moment. It had been so long since I had felt this level of acceptance, true love, and admiration for myself and the person I am.
Then I began working on the Hill. As I mentioned in my very first blog post from my first week on the job, I really did not believe at first that I was deserving of this internship or that I would be successful. In that post, I described needing to remind myself to hold my head high and realize that I deserve to be there. I am so proud and happy to say that by my last week – I no longer needed any reminders. Every time I was told “good work” when I turned a memo in, every time a staffer willingly stopped to chat and share a laugh with me, and every time I was granted a new opportunity – my confidence ticked up another notch. On my last day, the outpouring of kind, reaffirming words from my staff truly made my heart skip a beat. Now, my worth and my deservingness are ingrained deep into me.
A Hillternship can bring so many amazing things. New connections. New friends. Even a resume boost. But for me, the most important thing was rediscovering the Logan that I love so deeply and had lost for so long. The Logan that loves and prioritizes himself, while still caring so deeply for others. The Logan that laughs, makes jokes, and smiles – filled with unbridled joy. The Logan that knows his worth. The Logan that knows how deserving he is of every good thing that comes his way. I’m so glad he’s back – and he won’t be going anywhere.
