There’s no such thing as a silly question! Except maybe some of these | Photo: Pixabay
It’s really cute talking to people who claim they’ve never met a gay person before. Firstly, you definitely have, mate. Secondly, it’s like as soon as they find out your sexuality, a button clicks in their brain and this stranger’s chest squeezes out ‘Are you a top or a bottom?’ like deeply inappropriate toothpaste splattered against a bathroom wall.
Yet I worry with growing call out culture and respect for social norms when meeting a brand new person, people feel like they aren’t able to ask a question anymore. Well, worry not, non-queer people. Gay Star News is here to answer all the questions you’ve ever wanted to ask LGBTI people, but thought it was too inappropriate to ask.
For our first batch, I ventured into Reddit with the bravery and arrogance of colonizers into the Amazon rainforest, or of a white man explaining the economy to a female economics professor on Twitter. Let’s open up that mailbag.
Do all gay guys enjoy receiving anal?
Now, now, this isn’t actually a silly question. Anal is a complicated matter at the best of times. The cleaning process is longer than with other forms of sex. It is painful when you first start doing it. It can be painful after doing it for ages. As lots of men are trash, not putting any effort into anal sex makes it not worth it at all. Also, some LGBTI people don’t like sex! And others just prefer doing other things. Much like your girlfriend or future sexual partners might, you know, want something other than just the penis in the vagina, buddy. Maybe think about that.
It’s an issue | Photo: Pixabay
Wouldn’t smaller cocks be more popular than big cocks?
We all like what we like. No shame here.
Is one person in the relationship usually more feminine or masculine than the other, or are you about the same? And how does this impact on the level of attraction?
Masculinity and femininity are social constructs that just get more absurd in same sex couples. Sure, you could get a stereotypical twink and jock in a happy, easily spoonable relationship, with one liking sports and the other liking uploading photos of themselves in Speedos. It looks like one is more masculine than the other, but in this ridiculous construct, what if Mr Twink took the spiders outside? Huh? What if Mr Jock wore make-up? What about the spiders? Same thing in lesbian relationships. Let’s stop going on about ‘who’s the man and who’s the woman’.
This fabulous spider is sick of the patriarchy’s BS | Photo: Pixabay
As a straight guy that has gotten hit on by more than a few gay men, are they joking or trying to mess with me, or should I actually be flattered? (NOTE: this answer will work for all genders)
Now, I can’t speak to whether those specific gay people were taking the piss. They might well have been. Watching a bit of pure joy die in someone’s eyes is just as fun in the club as it is in the playground to some horrible, horrible people. But lots of them are probably being sincere.
We need to get to the point in society where people can flirt with others without the threat of violence. This means all men need to be able to flirt without being threatening. Straight guys need to learn more about consent and to give up when a girl says no. And, like, not calling her a bitch afterwards. Gay men need to appreciate when a guy says he’s straight to just back off. But then straight people from all genders should realize that if someone of the homosexual variety flirts with you, it’s because they’re interested in you. Don’t freak out, flip out, or whatever. Just politely decline, so instead of fearing the threat of violence, we can all just worry about more important things. Like oh god I just got rejected time to NEVER ASK ANYONE OUT AGAIN.
Can you get turned on from your own body?
Actually, this transcends all sexualities. Go into a gym and you’ll see, from the changing room to the gym floor, people spending hours looking at themselves in the mirror. Tensing, flexing. Probably giving themselves a wink. I wouldn’t know because my body confidence issues run so deep that seeing someone appreciate their body makes me want to climb into a locker and call myself a nerd. So yes, you can be turned on from your own body. You just don’t have to be LGBTI.
If you have a question you are too scared to ask LGBTI people, email [email protected] or DM on Twitter @TomCapon – all questions will be anonymous!
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