One in four gay and bisexual men lie about their age on hook-up apps and on dates.
That’s according to a new survey about ageism and getting older in the LGBTI community, conducted by Gay Star News.
Over 3,000 people completed the survey. Of this number, around 35% were retired, while 65% were not.
The study, conducted for the inaugural LGBTI Founders’ Day (Monday 24 September 2018), also reveals LGBTI people’s attitudes to finances, retirement and health. We will be publishing more results over the course of the week.
LGBTI people fear being rejected while dating because of their age
LGBTI people fear being rejected on hook-up apps and on dates because of their age.
One quarter of all people admitted they had at least once lied about how old they are when meeting a potential new partner.
That number climbed only three percent, to 28%, among only people who have retired.
People who haven’t retired were asked about how truthful they were on hook-ups:
- 12% never or rarely tell the truth about their age
- 13% sometimes or often tell the truth
- 35% always do
And then they were asked about how truthful about their age on dates:
- 6% never or rarely tell the truth about their age
- 10.5% sometimes or often tell the truth
- 39% always do on dates.
These stats rose, but not by much, when people retire.
People who have retired were asked about how truthful they were on hook-ups:
- 12% never or rarely tell the truth about their age
- 16% sometimes or often tell the truth
- 42% always do
And on dating:
- 7% never or rarely tell the truth about their age
- 15% sometimes or often tell the truth
- 48% always tell the truth
60% say gay dating is ‘totally’ ageist
When we asked the thousands of people surveyed, 60% said their experience of dating was ‘totally’ ageist. 16% said the scene was a ‘little’ ageist’, while 6% said it was ‘maybe’ ageist’.
Only 0.9% of people felt like dating was ‘absolutely not’ an ageist experience.
‘I was literally put on the shelf once I looked over 40,’ one respondent said, describing it as a ‘shock’.
‘There should be campaigns to warn people that this sort of thing happens, and how to deal with it.’
Many feared losing their looks as they got older (31%) while 42% feared losing their partner or loved ones.
Previous studies suggest older couples increasingly value emotional intimacy, such as kissing and cuddling, over penetrative sex.
How satisfied are older LGBTIs with their sex life?
But how satisfied are LGBTI retirees with their sex life? When asked, 43% of younger LGBTI people said they want to have ‘more’ sex when they’re older.
Retirees revealed:
- 22% said nothing changes in their sex life
- 14% had more sex once they retired
- 30% said they had less sex once they retired
- 39% said they’d like more sex now as a retiree
- 5% said they want less sex now as a retiree
‘Sex does NOT end at 50!’ one man surveyed said.
‘Confidence and experience are attractive. Fear of ageing is not. Just ask my three years older husband and my 27 years younger boyfriend.’
Many surveyed felt younger people should look at age as a ‘positive thing’.
‘Some people are very judgemental in the sense of focusing exclusively on the youngest, or the handsomest or most buff guys,’ one man said.
‘[Older guys] can be extremely hot, especially if they have looked after themselves in terms of health. (I KNOW just how HOT from recent experience)!’
One wanted to give advice to younger people.
‘Remember that you will be there some day too,’ they said.
‘So be kind & considerate and give them a chance at bars and dating sites. Don’t ignore them just because of a certain age. You might be missing out on a great opportunity.’
What is LGBTI Founders’ Day?
Gay Star News created LGBTI Founders’ Day to tackle ageism.
It promotes the idea that the LGBTI world owes our current freedom to the older generations. Furthermore, Founders’ Day will emphasise that older LGBTIs are very much at the heart of our community today and have wisdom and experience to pass on to younger people.
