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How I realized I was non-binary and queer – not a lesbian

Written by gaytourism

It’s hard enough working out who you are when your sexuality is in question. But what about if you have to think about your gender identity too?

That’s what this week’s episode of National Student Pride’s podcast #QueerAF explores.

Pippa went from identifying as a lesbian – to realizing she was a queer, non-binary demi girl.

‘I find it really difficult to put words to it, I use different terms all the time. Sometimes I use “demi-girl” because I see myself as more feminine than masculine. And I’m in a relationship with a partner who identifies as a woman.’

Furthermore, now Pippa wants to be a role model, she wished she’d had growing up.

So far, she’s been doing this by volunteering with Girl Guiding and being open about her identity:

‘Being able to share my identity at events, I realized how important it was I became a role model. I want other people who might not see queer and non-binary identities anywhere else in their life to know, we exist.’

But as inspiring as Pippa’s coming out is, it’s not been an entirely easy journey. Even with Girl Guiding, in what has long been a single-sex environment, Pippa explains how she’s been fighting for non-binary representation.

As part of this she explains in the show that she still uses female pronouns because that’s how she presents. And so far, that has kept her safe.

Listen to how Pippa’s realized her identity went way beyond, being a lesbian:

This is what non-binary looks like

The National Student Pride team say this week’s episode was inspired by My Genderation’s #ThisIsWhatNonBinaryLooksLike campaign.

My Genderation creates films to record the experiences and perspectives of gender variance under the trans umbrella. They’re holding a panel being ‘beyond the binary’ at National Student Pride this weekend.

It’s being chaired by non-binary activist Fox Fisher. The panel will also feature:

  • Comedian Lewis Hancox,
  • Young politician Lily Madigan,
  • Former RAF pilot Ayla Holdom
  • Activist Maria Munir.

Darren Mew is genderqueer and has been volunteering with the event this year, they say:

‘It only takes for you to look at the news lately to understand why National Student Pride has decided to look at identities that are #BeyondTheBinary. Especially as students are feeling more comfortable to be as open about their gender as they are their sexuality. And it’s so important to encourage that.

‘Moreover, I feel a large part of hate targeted at non-binary and trans people comes from a place of not misunderstanding. Therefore, I’m looking forward to the event inspiring conversations about genders beyond traditional binaries.’

Gay Star News is a media supporter of National Student Pride. Gay Star Students sponsors Clifford Chance and Deloitte support coverage of the #QueerAF podcast.

Listen to more episodes of #QueerAF:

This is why Disney hides ‘coded gay’ characters in its movies

What is life like as a queer Muslim sex worker?