How tumblr helped this non-binary young person learn to love themselves

Non-binary people often use gender neutral pronouns | Photo: theyspace Instagram

My name is Lisa, but most people probably know me as ‘nonbinaryproblems.’

That is the handle for my blog (on Tumblr) where I write about, quite literally, non-binary problems.

I talk about how I deal with dysphoria, ignorance and accepting myself. So basically just anything else in my life that relates to my gender identity.

When I first started my blog, I was really only looking for a place to vent.

I never thought I would gain the followers that I have now or that I’d have such a big impact on people.

A few years ago I was just a lost, confused 14 year old wishing I had someone to talk to about what I was feeling.

Now I get to be that person for so many people and that constantly blows my mind.

The amount of messages I get asking for advice is crazy.

All I’ve ever wanted to do is help people who are going through the same thing that I did and now I’m getting that chance. I’ve helped people figure out their pronouns, their gender, and how to come out.

But I think the most important thing I’ve done is help people accept themselves and their identity.

It’s like trying on clothes…

I have gotten a lot of asks and messages from people but there was one in particular that stuck out to me.

Someone asked me if it was normal to change their gender/sexuality or be confused about it and that question really hit home for me.

I went through a few identities myself before I decided on non-binary and that was something I asked myself everyday. I thought I was supposed to get it right on the first try but I soon learned that wouldn’t be the case.

Since then I have realized that if you go through a few identities before finding what fits for you then you couldn’t be more normal.

It’s like trying on clothes. You’re lucky if you find your size on the first try.

I love my blog because my writing helps others but I also love it because its therapeutic for me.

When I don’t have anyone to talk to in real life I can turn to my followers and I’ll know that someone will understand what I’m experiencing. I have found a sense of community here and it’s so incredible.

The people that I’ve spoken to have changed my life more than I could ever imagine.

I’ve had people stand up for me and reassure me that they would be there for me just as I am for them. I’ve had people come to me for help and then turn around and help me right back.

Everyone has been incredibly kind to me and supportive of my blog. I love all of my followers and I am so proud of each and every one of them for overcoming everything that they have to get out of the closet.

I used to hate being non-binary…

Everything I write, I try to turn into some sort of lesson that other people can learn from.

I am always trying to find and appreciate the good parts of my life. Because for so long, I wasn’t able to do that!

I used to hate myself and my identity. But, that very fact that has shaped me into who I am today.

It helped me realize how important being happy is and how I never want anyone else to go through what I did.

So whenever I have a bad day- whether that be because of my dysphoria or because someone called me a slur- the first thing I do is turn to my blog because there is probably someone who went through the exact same time. And if I can do even the smallest thing to help them I will.

It’s still unbelievable to me that I’m as out and proud as I am.

The fact that I can say with confidence and without fear that I am non-binary and that my pronouns are they/them still baffles me sometimes.

For a while I didn’t think I would get to this point but I did because I had help.

I was previously inspired by other people who spoke out about their identity and their experiences. And now, I get to be that person!

A quote that I live by- especially in regards to my blog is:

‘Be the change you wish to see in the world.’ – Gandhi