Joan Collins. | Photo: FX
Joan Collins joined the cast of American Horror Story: Apocalypse for the season premiere last night (12 September).
And the iconic actress didn’t disappoint with the hilarious one-liners.
In the first episode of season eight entitled The End, she plays Evie Gallant – the grandmother of hairstylist Mr Gallant (played by Evan Peters).
Sarah Paulson in The Runner | Photo: The Runner
The series features series regulars Sarah Paulson, Kathy Bates and Evan Peters. It also features Jeffrey B Chapman, who appears to be in a same-sex relationship when we meet his character.
This season will also feature Stevie Nicks and a return to the series for Jessica Lange.
Top 5 iconic Joan Collins American Horror Story one-liners
1. “Esmerelda!”
When the world succumbs to a series of nuclear bombs, everyone’s freaking out and saying goodbye to loved ones.
But not Evie.
She’s sitting in her million-dollar mansion sipping a glass of champagne.
She screams out to her maid: ‘Esmeralda, the champagne’s burnt again. You left it in the freezer too long!’
2. ‘Nana! I’ve been trying to call you’
As Esmerelda runs out to go say goodbye to her family and friends, Evie’s grandson runs in.
He tells Evie he’s been trying to call her all day about the impending doom and the end of the world.
She responds: ‘Your grandfather – god rest his soul – would never return calls until the following day. All of the stars and all of the agents would have to go and see him in person, if they wanted to get—’
Mr Gallant then cuts her off to inform her the end of the world is coming.
‘Missiles are coming,’ he warns.
She replies: ‘So is global warming! It’s probably fake news, I’m going to call Donald.’
3. When no one’s flying the plane
As soon as Evie finds out no one’s flying the plane they’re on, she responds in shock: ‘No stewardess?
‘I guess I won’t be ordering the fresh-cut fruit!’
4. Yul Brynner
An odd collection of people assemble in an elaborate bunker to escape the radiation.
They have to ration out food, which means only eating a strange gelatinous cube each meal.
Evan Peters says to the newcomers of the bunker: ‘Don’t be disappointed.’
Then Evie chimes in: ‘You don’t know what disappointment is until you’ve slept with Yul Brynner.’
Brynner is an old Hollywood actor, who appeared in the original Westworld movie.
5. ‘It’s full of fibre’
When one of the people in the bunker is revealed to be contaminated, he’s shot and killed to protect the others.
Then the people left in the bunker are fed the remains of the guy. When they quickly discover it’s their dead friend, they all react in horror.
Not Evie though.
She coolly says: ‘I don’t care what it is. It’s absolutely divine and it’s full of fibre. I’m going to finish every drop.’
She later says: ‘It was chicken, Andre. Delicious white meat chicken.’
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