Rainbow art by fifth grader in I’ll Be Your Rock. Courtesy | Facebook
I’ll Be Your Rock, an LGBTQ nonprofit that mentors youth, plans to launch a chapter in Hillsdale.
“We have been working toward a Hillsdale chapter of I’ll Be Your Rock for about a year now,” said Christine Terpening, founder of the group. “There are gay and trans kids in the Hillsdale community that are hurting and are in dire need of the kind of support that I’ll Be Your Rock offers.”
I’ll Be Your Rock, which aims to offer “inclusive resources” and reduce suicide among LGBTQ-identifying youth, is planning a chapter in Hillsdale. It currently has chapters in Vermontville and Charlotte. It is planning additional chapters in Michigan cities Manistee, Middleville, and in Livingston, Texas.
The group pairs youth with mentors, or “rocks,” in a private Facebook group and monthly meetings, according to its website.
“Our rocks may be straight or a member of the LGBTQ+ community. A rock is a safe person kids can reach out to in a time of need and we listen, support and, if we can, we help them solve their problems,” Terpening said. “Our rocks have tackled emotional support, food insecurity, transportation, medical needs, and school advocacy. We also celebrate them [the kids] by attending their events such as sports, plays, fair projects, and other activities.”
City Councilman Joshua Paladino ’18 said he opposes the group and its mentorship methods.
“It is inappropriate for adult strangers to speak with minors about sex and sexuality, especially in a ‘discreet’ way through a private Facebook group,” Paladino said. “These conversations should occur between children and their parents, guardians, or other well-known and deeply trusted parties.
I’ll Be Your Rock hosts private Facebook groups to connect LGBTQ-identifying youth with their mentors, according to Terpening.
“While Hillsdale awaits their chapter, we have a private Facebook group that any young person can join in for a safe space to receive positive messages and let them know how valuable and amazing they are,” Terpening said. “The group is run by ‘rocks.’ Kids are welcome to invite their supportive adults.”
One affiliated private Facebook group focuses on the Maple Valley area near the small town of Vermontville, just southwest of Lansing. According to its description, anyone joining this group is “officially a rock.” The group has more than 150 members.
“We are working on ensuring Maple Valley be [sic] a safe and inclusive school district and community,” the description reads. “We will keep this group open for healthy discussion, sharing of community needs, and resources for parents. Anyone not in line with kindness and inclusiveness will be removed.”
I’ll Be Your Rock also hosts monthly meetings in Vermontville. Stacey Filak, the group’s principal officer in 2022 according to IRS filings, said in a GoFundMe post that mentors and LGBTQ-identifying youth gather at a “secret location.”
“The meeting place – a secret location that is only given to kids and their allies – is safe and anonymous,” Filak wrote. “The atmosphere is relaxed and comfortable. It doesn’t feel like a support group. It feels like a club, and it is one that I’m thrilled to be a part of.”
The group’s website says it enables kids to “evolve and grow and change.”
“Queer kids, indeed, know who they are at a young age,” the website reads. “We are more than monthly meetings. We communicate with kids regularly to check in and provide support in any way they need.”
Samantha Fether, owner and photographer at Fether Studios in downtown Hillsdale, said she thinks I’ll Be Your Rock will be a “wonderful addition” to the community.
“The number of children who feel scared to reveal their preferences or gender identity to their loved ones is sadly high,” Fether said. “I’ve heard counts of insults toward trans individuals, the use of ‘gay’ or ‘queer’ as a slur, and absolute disgust toward people who simply support the pride community – and this was mostly from adults.”
I’ll Be Your Rock expects to face some pushback in Hillsdale, according to Terpening.
“There has been some negativity regarding queer issues in Hillsdale, but those people can usually be quieted by stating the facts of alarmingly high suicide rates among LGBTQ+ youth,” she said.
The board of Families for Hillsdale, a “nonpartisan, nonprofit coalition” aiming to strengthen local families, said in a statement that it disagrees with bringing the group to the community.
“Proper sexual expression consists of monogamous relations between the husband and wife. These arrangements conduce to the happiness of individuals and the preservation of society,” the statement reads. “Children as well as adults should be encouraged to pursue these modes of behavior.”
I’ll Be Your Rock tells parents how to work on “getting this right from the start,” according to its website, and works to build “allies” whom it encourages to start chapters.
“Allies are paramount to a healthy, happy queer person,” the website reads. “Being an ally can be as simple as honoring pronouns and as extensive as standing up for LGBTQ+ rights.”
Terpening founded I’ll Be Your Rock in January 2022 in Vermontville, partly because of her personal experience.
“I know what it’s like to grow up in a small community and fear that you may be gay,” Terpening said. “Full of fear, I immediately came out loud to my community via social media letting our youth know that if they needed to know one gay adult, I was that adult. I announced that I would be starting I’ll Be Your Rock, rural LGBTQ+ support, so that no community mourns the loss of one of their precious kids.”
Since I’ll Be Your Rock’s founding, it has hosted various events like a Valentine Party for “all LGBTQ+ youth and their rocks,” according to Facebook. The group is planning its third annual Vermontville Youth Pride festival on Aug. 17.
“We welcome all kind community to this event that is focused on a day of fun and inclusion for LGBTQ+ kids and teens,” Terpening said.
The group opposes community members it deems intolerant, according to its website.
“Will there be hate? Yes, but an enlightened community will not tolerate them,” the website reads. “We have taken on homophobic school board members and hateful citizens that are willing to speak out.”
