A gay porn star has revealed his HIV status in an inspiring video.
Kayden Gray, a London-based adult performer, decided to open up about being diagnosed with HIV.
Gray, who also works as an escort, explained in the video he released on YouTube that he was diagnosed just 9 months into the start of his career as a porn star.
He decided to make the candid video about how he has learnt to deal with being HIV positive after three and a half years of living with the secret, which he can no longer “sit on”.
Gray realised that it was “very obvious something was wrong” soon after contracting the virus because he became incredibly ill and lost a lot of weight.
“I went to a party and had unprotected sex with multiple guys, and it was fun. Then I was sick,” he explained.
Gray felt “disgusting” and “unlovable” when he was diagnosed, but is now able to lead a “completely regular, if to slightly crazy sex life”.
Despite now having an undetectable viral load, Gray wants others to learn from his own experience in contracting and living with HIV.
He explained that he thinks many people will disregard his story, but that he too was once like that.
“All of you who are negative and who are listening to this thinking this doesn’t affect you because you are not stupid, you are not a whore, you can take care of yourself,” he said. “Well guess what? I used to say exactly the same things, and like you, I used the word ‘clean’.
“The thing is, you see, it takes one mistake, it takes one night out, one chill-out, one bareback f**k to join the club. It really is that easy. If you’re the kind of guy who sits on the dick first and then asks questions then you, my friend, have speedy boarding onto this ride.”
For Gray, his “one mistake” means that living life is a little bit harder, but the worst outcome was the judgement he has had to face.
“The worst part is the judgment and even cruelty. Not even from the general public but from people from your own community. I know where that comes from because you want to disassociate yourself from the problem, but it doesn’t help.”
However, the performer insisted that it will “get better”.
“The dust will settle. And eventually, you realise that as painful as this experience is, having HIV is not that bad. It’s actually an experience that has taught me so much and has given me so much appreciation for my own life,” he finished.
To learn more about HIV and AIDS research, testing and treatment, visit amFAR or the Terrence Higgins Trust.
